he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
