She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
