Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
