girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
