oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
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