he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just found puke in my bra..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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