I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
