I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Drunk is not a location!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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