Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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