i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
