It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
