You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
