I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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