I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize