I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
the raccoons are back...
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