The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
