so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
