sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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