Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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