so that wasnt chicken after all
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
