No stitches, just platelets and will power
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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