is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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