there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
