we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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