Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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