i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
