He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
