I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
