I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
