i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
