yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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