It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize