I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
