Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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