After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
