Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
