i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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