dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize