it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
