So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
