Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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