You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
