he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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