all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
