Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
