OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
