I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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