you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
