butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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