it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
