what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
