i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize