why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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