you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
