So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
tell me about the fingering
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