dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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