i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
