ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
