I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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