He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
