i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize