Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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