he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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