Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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