That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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