u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
