I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize