So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize