So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
