So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
