Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
