and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
