I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
