flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
