I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
