worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
