I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I need moral support for this bender
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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