therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
