It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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