but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize